It's been nearly 3 months since my "break up" from my best friend and the public shaming that went along with it. I've taken some time to process all that transpired and the ultimate decline of what I thought was a life long friendship.
I know I am not the only one who has experienced one of those tacky, unnecessary, hurtful "Dear Ex-Best Friend" letters, as it seems that publicly humiliating someone you once cared for is a new trend. They're alllll over the internet so I know there are MANY of us who sit in silence recovering from this humiliation on our own.
But, we don't have to. If you're going through this whole debacle like I did check out the 5 things you can do to overcome and unleash your inner badass!
1. Create NEW Relationships
Was your best friend your queen bee? What she your "rock?" Was she your "go to girl" to lean on? If so you MIGHT have lost other friendships by isolating yourself or focusing on this ONE friendship rather than nurturing others. That's OKAY! You can easily resurrect friendships from the past or create new relationships. Put yourself out there into the world! Make new friends and make friends with their friends. Surrounding yourself with NEW loving relationships will get your mind off of all of the drama and pain.
2. Positive Affirmations
There is SO MUCH power behind positive affirmations. Using positive affirmations rewires your brain and will push you towards your truest desires. Your affirmation is driven by what resonates with you the most in your situation.
For me, I felt extremely disrespected, humiliated and very disappointed in the situation so I chose to use the affirmation, "I am worthy of MORE!"
Though the term more is very vague I KNEW in my heart EXACTLY what it meant.
3. Personal Development PRACTICE
Let's face it - your friendship didn't end because of ONE person; it took joint efforts. So it's important you look into yourself to assess how you could have done things differently. In discovering how you could have done things differently it is imperative that you dive into some personal development to guide you into how you'll approach things from a different perspective in your future friendships.
Personal development is HUGE and can truly change your life if you allow it to. But the KEY to personal development is the application process. Just because the book was read, you listened to the podcast or you attended the seminar doesn't mean you're APPLYING it to your life.
READ the books slowly - don't rush and hoard the information. Ask yourself at the end of a chapter HOW can you apply what you learned? AND, draw attention to when you DO apply it.
Maybe you want to be a kinder person and you've learned ways on how to do that which align more with who you are. Applying what you learned is the hardest part as you are changing your daily habits. So allow yourself to make positive changes SLOWLY.
4. Focus on Building Yourself
If your relationship was toxic there's a probability that you've torn yourself to pieces a bit. Sometimes jealousy gets between two people resulting in a tear down rather than a build UP. Real women build one another UP.
If you were feeling rather torn down I suggest you do the above (Personal Development) and align yourself up to the things you really enjoy or have always wanted to try. GO DO THEM!
Make yourself uncomfortable and CHALLENGE yourself to try new things! Take a painting class, pick up an instrument, start your blog, begin your memoir, whatever it is you've ALWAYS wanted to do; GO DO IT!
5. FORGIVE, FORGIVE, FORGIVE
You're probably reading this entire article because you were publicly humiliated. Meaning something you've said or done was displayed in some fashion for all to see, read or hear. Secrets you've shared, low points in your life, etc. all have been publicized.
I get it, you're angry; I was too! Who seriously wants to forgive someone who betrayed your trust so OUTWARDLY to the world? I did NOT want to forgive her or trust others but after doing the 4 steps above I found that I can't not forgive or trust other women. "Just because you've found ONE bad apple, doesn't mean you should give up on the whole tree."
Forgiving someone doesn't mean you want them back into your life. Forgiveness doesn't mean that the person was "right" or you were "right."
Forgiveness simply means that you no longer harvest anger, resentment or shame over the situation which has occurred; allowing yourself to be free from persecution.
In summary following these steps won't take back the actions between two parties or permanently fix a friendship. But, it will put you in a better place to create new friendships and bring you closer to your higher self.
No comments:
Post a Comment